This is not the normal memory lane where you recall your awesome childhood days of being brought gifts and shit everytime your parents come back from home.
Something just got into me. I don’t know why, I don’t know how, but it just got into me. That feeling. Honesty it’s amazing. It has been on my mind for long, and at last I’ve given in. You know,when nature forces you to do something, even I it’s your worst nightmare or something, you will do it. Reason for that only the one above knows. The feeling of telling my fellow humans all and everything about the place I call home. The fucked up small, tiny, minute town located at the beautiful shorelines of the great and might Indian Ocean.
As you may have known, my origins and where I find utmost peace in my dark soul are found in a town blessed by whoever the hell came up with its name. Mtwapa . Sounds familiar right. Oh Yes, you’ve began thinking of the roads in the town lined up with stripper poles and the strippers dancing along the roads showcasing what their mamas gave them. What a shame. Shame because what you are thinking is not further from the truth. It’s the clearest definition of all. Hoe City. Fuckboy Capital. Sin City. Syphilis Depot. I hope I haven’t forgotten the nicknames of my great town. Mtwapa. I also guess that name is neatly sprinkled with cocaine at the first letters, then the middle letters are drenched with some expensive vodka, then the last letters of that name are well garnished with::well of course, what do you expecti :=Hoeeeeess my friend. That awesome combination is basically the stronghold of my beautiful town. If Mtwapa were to be an independent country, I would expect no other symbols of national unity than those three. Pussy. Money. Alcohol. Lemme not go further and Imagine the economic activity that would have been driving our economy.
Home is best. All my years on this cruel world, Mtwapa has been my home sweet home. Now allow me the pleasure of giving you a sneak peek of this town. The main entrance to my small town is a bridge. The Mtwapa bridge. Once you cross the bridge, you are officially in Mtwapa. The first sight to behold is the police station. Located a few metres past the bridge, it has been built at the edges of the cliffs on the Mtwapa Bay. One single slip and you plunge down, hundreds of metres into the ocean down below. Legend has it that the cliffs have rather been a “lifesaver” for the wrongdoers who are apprehended. A wild jump off the cliffs into the ocean is better than spending your night in a cold, dirty cell, some say. Well, past the police station is an array, or rather a display of the main source of income in my lovely town. As usual, the town is divided into two parts. And I wonder by the way, why is it that almost all towns are divided into two. Most commonly by a road. The East side and the West side. Why the fuck is that. Anyways, it’s just the way it is I guess so let me not give myself migraines thinking about something that will not change. Well that’s the case in Mtwapa. There’s the East side and the West side. In between lies the main road to and from the town. And these two sides, completely different from one another. As in the exact opposite. One town. Two sides. Two different worlds.
Closer to the shoreline lies the East side of Mtwapa. The crown jewel of my town. A sight to behold if I may add. If you are new in this town and your branch towards the East from the main road, you will surely be amazed. Right from the beginning of the road, you are welcomed with the sight of well-arranged, classy hotels strategically built at the sides of the road. With beautiful paintings on the outside and sophisticated architectural designs, the hotels are legendary in the coastal region. And the lodgings, Oh my Goodness. State of the art I tell you. No wonder hoe business is booming in this town. The way they are strategically placed beside strip clubs high-end night clubs. Damn, I just had a flashback of a major throwback in my life. Speaking of hoes, I vividly recall my first encounter with a hoe: a rather weird, epic encounter, at a very young, totally young age just along the ‘Hoe Superhighway ” of Mtwapa. Yeah, we have that in my hometown. A place where there is smooth streaming, intake and outake of hoes at record breaking speeds. Don’t tell me you don’t have that in your town! For real!!!. Anyway, that’s a story for another day, but in the meantime, I was at the East side of my hometown. The apartments in this side are a sight to behold. Apart from the European architecture used to design these gorgeous apartments, at the top of most of them ,the very top of the apartment, you will see a flag bravely flying high courtesy of the warm ocean breeze. Not a Kenyan flag if you are to assume. But a flag of European origin: mostly Germany :actually in case you don’t know, foreigners make up about 40 percent of the population in my hometown, so yeah, that’s why “business is booming “. That’s why they find it best to call this place home and further increase it’s growth in all aspects.
Now let’s cross the road and head to the West Side. Well this side is a Lil bit fucked up, but they’re catching up. Now this side is where you get your brand new second hand clothes. The streets are neat, well lit, but there are no fucking rules on this side. This side is divided into territories and in each there is a gang. With the extremely high levels of ‘living life ‘ here, one can wonder why waste time in school while you can make quick and easy money selling drugs and engaging in criminal activity for the guys, and for ladies,the profitable hoe business can make you filthy rich in a short duration of time.
All in all, regardless of its bad reputation which is now spreading to international levels, I’m proud to hail from that fucked up place and it has, and always will be my home sweet home.